When She Lost It All

This is quite possibly one of the hardest things I've ever had to write about in a long time. It's interesting to see what can really change so fast in our lives and how we will react, but especially when it's something tragic. How can anyone be prepared for that? 

Twiggy passed away last week from a very unexpected poisoning from a wilted lily whose petals fell from the mantel shelf.. 

We thought we were responsible enough to keep them out of reach, and it's not the first floral bouquet Nick has bought me, (which I am always the most grateful for)..but, we never knew how toxic lilies are to cats. It's not common knowledge, and we learned the hard way. We all know not to give a dog chocolate, but somehow with all the cat craze, this has slipped through the wave. And, if I have to be a voice of warning and awareness, then I will take it. But, I certainly didn't ask or want it. Not this way. 

To even put into words how Twiggy changed my life, would probably take up pages and pages of my blog, but to just put simply, she taught me endless love and patience. That is something I knew when she was alive and will now live in me for the rest of my life. Twiggy came into my life at probably one of the most difficult moments of understanding what a fork in the road really looks like..I was now newly single, with all my crap around me and this new kitten that I didn't know I'd be responsible for alone. The image of that moment is so vivid and the immediate strength I had to build was instant because I knew I HAD to. That's life. 

Fast forward, Twiggy became my world. My photographic muse. The only thing to keep me from crying. It's like some sort of self realization would happen just simply staring at her. My inspiration and my secret happiness no matter what was going on around me, whether it was job related or social drama or anything..as we know "Twiggy Don't Care" most of the time but either way, I could come home to Twiggy. 

I know what you might be thinking if you don't own a pet..I'm the crazy cat lady. Well, I only had one so I'm not quite to the standard, but sure..I was crazy about Twiggy. 

This leads me to my next and final point. I've received so much love and so much support from several people. It's been a real eye opener. I never imagined how many people would reach out to me or tell me how I taught them something about lilies and how their cat was just near them this past Easter.. I can't thank you enough. Everyone who messaged me or commented or spoke to me in person, or simply gave me a hug, because quite frankly, who knows what to say to someone who's crying their eyes out? It's hard for me sometimes to come up with something, but I know a hug can always say more. 

I know everyone goes through something difficult in their lives and it's a part of who we are as people. And, if there's one thing I learned through this process, is that grieving looks and feels the same no matter whom or what you lost. 

  1. Grief is a multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, spiritual, and philosophical dimensions.

I obviously understand the perspective of what else in the world there is to lose and how..but, grieving about someone or something should have no comparison. How I feel about losing Twiggy can look the same as someone who lost their only photo of their grandmother, or to actually hear the news of your best friend passing, or to have to move out of a childhood home etc. It's just as powerful and mysterious as the emotion of love and we, collectively, can only be there to help each other remain strong. And, to support one another. That's all anyone can ask of someone else when they're grieving. 

"But nothing that can be said can begin to take away the anguish and the pain of these moments. Grief is the price we pay for love" -Queen Elizabeth II